Have you ever dreamt of being an adult? Have you ever felt unstable on the threshold of life when you come to realize that everything is not as you had expected?
Grow up: A painful but inevitable process
In our twenties, everyone of us must have experienced the feeling of confusion and indecisiveness about the road ahead. What will we do in the future? Is the path we are taking the right one? 20 is full of the unknowns. But 20 is also the time when the young has the maximum time to get ready for their future life, taking the very first step on the road to success.
Having taken off from the runway, the airplane must go up little by little until it reaches a perfect height for the long journey ahead. How about the airplane that carries your 20, has it reached the “perfect height”?
Growing up is also when we learn how to “love yourself after years of loving others”.
In this life, you should learn to see fame as ephemera while see discipline as gold. Born with a normal background, there will be times when you have to keep your head down, but please never make it a default, unless you have no other choice.
In this life, you have to bring out your true self, do not waste time trying to please others, or worse, being a copy of someone else. You are who you are, your ego is unique, not a copy, remember!
People change, things change, but if you cannot control it, then just let fate does. Do not judge or try to make an opinion.
Everyone experiences three times of growing up
The first time is when you realize you are not the center of the universe.
The second is when you realize there are things that, no matter how hard you try, cannot be changed.
The third is when you know something will not work but still stop at nothing to pursue it.
As young kids, when we were angry, parents had no way to calm us down. But now, once we realize we are angry, the anger somehow went away already. Time will take away innocent recklessness and we learn to slowly contemplate everything to understand things deeply.
As young kids, we make a storm out of a teacup about our very own fickle moods. But now, the more painful we feel, the calmer we are. The more miserable we are, the quieter we become. This is life. It makes you stronger by bringing all your feelings to silent mode.
The unstable days of those who are leaving from the so-called school to start the school of life, are days when it dawns on us that life is not as cosy and easy as life in the cuddling arms of parents, that life is not filled with all bright colors but also dark ones. Life gives you a lot of meetings with various people with various personalities and standpoints. Life is not all about the ups, but also the downs.
Fall in love with your fate
The process of growing up is accompanied by questions about your own life, to make you realize that: Everyone is born for a reason. Every happy or sad story we hear and every person whether is only fleeting through our life or stay longer, are there to help us grow up in our own soul, to persistently move ahead on our own two feet without “wavering” like a toddler. Do not blame fate when you encounter so many challenges just because you are not mature enough. Learn and practice more instead.
The young and the school of life
Do you know what the most interesting job on earth is? It is growing up, or more exactly, it is when you realize you learned something new, that your current self is better than your past self through years of personal development and skills honing.
Ever wondering whether the job suits you, whether to quit job or not? Work or money? At the same time, you are seeking the formula for your own happiness. When we walk our way out of university and start a career, almost all of us share the thought of making as much money as possible while it is recommended that we should invest more in our soft skills and choose an environment that encourages learning instead. Learn how to work effectively in a group. Make good friends. More importantly, step out of your comfort zone to try out new things, leave your footsteps on new lands, meet new people, seek out for new opportunities.
Meet people, fall in love, just live
Each of us is a different individual who belongs to certain groups: family, school, workplace,.. In each of those, we express ourselves in different ways that we see as most appropriate. But not everyone can wear the right mask and find the right place for himself.
Beside work pressure, the desire to success and others’ recognition, we are also yearning for finding a perfect life mate who can understand us. When we undergo that process, we are once again having the feeling of instability on the threshold of marriage. At which age are we mature enough to get married? How long does it take us to be ready to step into the new stage of life?
Not until we grow up do we realize that, family is and will always be the safest shelter, always opening its wide arms to welcome us after days of tiredness and fighting out there. But because family love is so unconditional and obvious, we tend to take it for granted and not even bother to care for it or reinforce it. When we came to know it, it is already too late.
Growing up is not about a certain “special point” in your journey of self development, but a process of fighting against the instabilities of life. But also thanks to those severe instabilities, little by little, we stand still, that is called “grow up”.
Therefore, accept your fate as it is. Face it. Make friends with it. Of course, it is never easy to fall in love with your dreadful fate. But it is essentially a matter of life and death. You will experience diseases and bad luck, grinding poverty and the loneliness when you love someone but never got loved back. You will go over it all and finally live a happy life. I believe in that. And in that process, you will learn how to “love” your fate. At least that’s all you can do for things you cannot control. Trying to avoid or fight against it just makes matters worse.
FEC – FPTU English Club